I live DELIBERATELY!

The phrase "Living Deliberately" was one I coined a few years back when I started doing private psychotherapy with client's. With most client's I give them "homework" consisting of various assignments that would help move them out of a stuck place, challenge their comfort zone or help create a trait or quality that would enhance their lives, enhance themselves or improve a circumstance or relationship. Sounds great right? Well moving out of a comfort zone, creating a habit or becoming unstuck is nice when talking about it, in fact it can give a surge of excitement when talking about it but when having to actually DO something to make that happen, well that's a different story. So after a few client's came back the following week, me thinking I'm one stellar therapist imagining all of the growth and change that had taken place between visits, the client's had NOT in fact done their homework. What? How can that be? That was the perfect plan! I'm the perfect therapist! You are now one step further away from your 7 steps to better health! Right? Wrong.

And so my lessons in therapy, life and "the process" began. This happened a few weeks in a row. Me creating "the perfect homework" assignments and my client's perfectly seeing the vision with me while in my office but going home and not following through. Don't get me wrong, the client's intentions were definitely there, but the umph and structure to keep the intentions in place was not. I was missing something very important in our journey, which by the way therapy is very much of a journey, not 7 steps to better health as we'd all like to believe. Wouldn't it be so much easier to just do step A, B and C and BAM! You're like new? Ahhhh. *sigh* I was missing the part of the depressed client or the anxious client or the codependent client or the abused client that left my office feeling a little better maybe even a little hopeful but got stuck when they went to do their homework because they didn't FEEL like doing their homework so they didn't. See the pattern?

And this my friends, is where Living Deliberately was born. A little counter rule to the "I don't feel like it" tendency that I learned to implement when homework was given. The rule is simply this: When you live deliberately, you do nothing based on whether you feel like it or not. You do it because you agreed to it and you decided it was best for you. So you live deliberately. Get it? Got it! Good :)

This changed the face of my sessions as I knew it. Why? Because when client's were asked if they did their homework and they said no it gave us more space and depth to explore why they didn't do it since not doing it if they didn't FEEL like it wasn't an option, or it taught them something more about themselves: *That their lives and actions didn't have to be solely governed by their moods. That they actually had a sense of control or at least ability to have their mood AND still live life. And often their mood would improve after living deliberately and following through with what they decided to do such as exercising.

With this, I'm starting an I LIVE DELIBERATELY challenge. For 28 days, I am going to drink 64 oz. of water a day. I don't drink water really ever because honestly, I haven't felt like it. So for the next 28 days I am implementing my living deliberately rule, so drinking water will not be based on whether I feel like or not. If I don't feel like drinking water that won't matter because why? I'm living deliberately for the next 28 days. I will drink it because I think it would be good for me and I decided I would.

Wanna take up the challenge? It's easy! Simply decide on something you want to improve on, incorporate into your life, learn and do it for 28 days. Go for a daily walk, get through a challenging book, try 28 new recipes, keep up on your laundry, smile at everyone you cross, go to bed an hour earlier.

You can participate publicly or privately...participate comes in all forms. To participate, all you need to do is either leave a post here, email me or write down somewhere saying what you are going to do for the next 28 days along with your start date. That way you have accountability, which is a big component for change. Then write on a sticky note, or cute paper or whatever you want , "I LIVE DELIBERATELY!" and place it somewhere you will see it daily. Then when you hit a slump and you don't FEEL like doing whatever you agreed to do, remind yourself that's not an option because YOU LIVE DELIBERATELY. See what happens, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. When you're done, if you care to share your experience, you can either post again, send an email, or keep the experience for yourself. Then you can do it again with something new and/or keep going with what you have been doing.


TAKE THE CHALLENGE! SHARE THE CHALLENGE WITH OTHERS! LIVE DELIBERATELY! WHAT HAVE YOU GOT TO LOSE, RATHER THINK OF ALL YOU HAVE TO GAIN. FEEL FREE TO USE THE BUTTON ON MY SIDE BAR BY RIGHT CLICKING ON THE IMAGE AND LINK IT DIRECTLY TO THIS POST.


*Please keep in mind therapy is a process and the process is based on each unique person, their unique circumstances, abilities, and the initial healing, grieving, learning, relationship building that needs to take place. Sometimes for a client Living Deliberately is merely agreeing to come to therapy each week for their scheduled appointment whether they feel like it or not.